6 Months

I can't believe its been six months. Half a year. Part me says, "That sounds like an eternity" but then part of me says, "Its only been six months?" I was going to get on here yesterday, the actual day but I just couldn't. I spent most of the day in denial... just trying to forget what day it was. I tried to pretend that it was just another ordinary day.

When I think about it, I have no idea where the last six months have gone. Day by day, especially the hard days, I wonder how I'll get through the day. However, when I look back... I see that I've managed to survive the last six months... one day at a time.

I saw this at Hobby Lobby a few weeks ago. I've been trying to find some more because I have several friends who instantly came to mind when I saw it and I'd love to send one to them. I'd also love to find a bunch to include in our YAMC memory boxes. I think it's really the best thing that can be said to a baby loss parent. It's the only way to survive and "get through it"... you just concentrate on one day at a time.

(This isn't it... but its as close as I can find. I haven't taken a picture of it yet.)

I stayed up looking through Cameron's baby pictures... trying to remember what he was like at one month old. I couldn't help but smile. He was such a great baby! I'm sure it was tough but I honestly don't remember anything but the pure bliss. Maybe its because he was our much prayed for miracle and I've blocked out the negative, tiring stuff. I know most people are exhausted and can't wait to get through the first year but really, I wish I could go back. It is true when they say "Time flies!" I can't believe he's almost 4! Where have the years gone?

Nathan should be turning one month, had he made it to term. As I go through Cameron's baby pictures, I'm reminded of all the cherished moments of Cameron's first month.