Today marks the 3rd month since Nathan grew his wings. I know I had decided that each month on the 21st, I would have a "Reason to Smile" day with Cameron. However, today I just couldn't muster the energy or strength. I started my period yesterday and it has been a bad one. I even had to bring out the pain pills. It sucks. I shouldn't even be HAVING a period. Today, I should be 30 weeks pregnant.
When does it get better? People keep saying I need to move on... not become "obsessed" with this. Am I obsessed? I'm trying to find a balance between holding onto him and letting go. When will I be able to get through the 21st day of the month without feeling like this?
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Don't listen to those people. Grieving is such a completely different process for everyone, and no one should ever be told how to do it. It's hard, and it takes a long time, and in all honesty, it won't ever truly be over. You'll have some good days, a lot of them, but there will be still a hole in your heart, there will still be a huge hurt for the little boy you miss.
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs and prayers.