Indescribable

Something is different but I don't know what. I can't describe the feeling. I just can't figure out the words or thoughts to explain it. Last night and tonight, I just feel weird. I was up until around 3am last night (this morning). It just hit me out of nowhere... nausea. I was sitting on the couch reading the newest Karen Kingsbury book (which is pretty good by the way. I'm about half way through it and holding on to see if Brandon and Bailey will make it)... sorry, I got off track there. ;-)

Anyway, I was reading and the nausea just hit me. I hovered in the bathroom for almost an hour but never actually got sick. I racked my brain trying to think of what all I had eaten, thinking maybe something just didn't settle. Couldn't think of anything. I've felt fine... not coming down with anything that I know of. For those who don't know me (which is pretty much everyone who reads this since I've never shared this blog with close friends or family) I don't get sick. I can count on one hand how many times I've thrown up since I graduated high school.

So, of course, 'THAT' thought pops in my head... which of course, makes me even more nauseous. There is only one other time that I've ever had nausea without actually throwing up or being actually ill/sick. I was pregnant with Nathan. I never had any pregnancy symptoms with Cameron. With Nathan, the nausea was horrible and it hit full force at around 5 weeks. I had it right up until the day he was born.

But then, my brain reminds me that I HAVE to be overreacting. I'm not even due to ovulate until Sunday or Monday. Even if I were pregnant, I couldn't possible be far enough along to be having any symptoms. I seriously think it's just an overreaction to what this month is. This time last year, is when I got pregnant with Nathan. He was my birthday gift. (I got pregnant on my birthday, April 3rd.) Because of our crazy schedules (we were working opposite shifts) it was the only day within that fertile time frame when we were "together"... so that's how I know. I found out on Easter Sunday (April 24th) that I was pregnant.

Plus, I have the added coincidence of surgery. This time last year, I was getting ready for my appointment to talk with my OB about scheduling a hysterectomy. (I was supposed to see him in July of last year... oddly enough, the month Nathan was born.) With my hysteroscopy/laparotomy scheduled for April 19th, it feels like deja vu all over again. I'm going next Friday for my pre-op and blood work. Since they will be putting me under and actually going into my cervix/uterus, I know they'll be doing pregnancy tests and all that. I have a feeling that I'll probably be doing a test, at home, the morning of the surgery also... just to ease my mind before going in.