Happy One Month Heavenly Birthday
Thursday, August 18, 2011 at 1:43am
An hour from now, 4 weeks ago, I was preparing to hold my son for the first and last time. I can't believe it's been a month since he left for Heaven.
Nathan,
I think about you all the time. You're the first thought in my mind when I wake up and you're the last thought when I go to sleep. I check on your brother and then I touch your urn on the way to bed. Do you feel the kiss I blow you? Do you hear me tell you goodnight? I hope so. I took Cameron to the playground the other day. While he was swinging, he started blowing kisses every time he would swing forward, towards the sky. I asked him what he was doing and he said,"Blowing my brother kisses. You said he was in the sky, right? Can he catch my kisses?" I thought it was so sweet.
We all love you so much and it hurts that you're not here. Right now, I should be 21 weeks pregnant and excited about making it past the halfway point. I should be buying cute little outfits and decorating your room. Instead, I'm excited about all the donations and resources that are being used for your project. I'm scouting out sales to buy things for other moms, who sadly, will be where I am; and who's babies will be where you are. I hope that you're happy with the way I'm choosing to honor your memory. I will make sure that I'm not the only person who knows how special and wonderful you are.
Happy one month Heavenly birthday, my sweet angel!
Love, Mommy
Now it’s a month since your visit
and your memory lingers on,
Somehow feels like you’re around,
even though I know you’re gone,
and in these times when you feel so low
Ain’t nothing you can do.
But we’re still thankful for your visit
Cause we changed cause of you,
Yeah we changed cause of you.
— John Butler Trio, Spring
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